Wow, the last two weeks have been really really busy (imagine that!). I've had something on campus every day, meaning that I've had to commute, losing about 10 hours/week. I used to think that 8 am lectures were bad - I had no idea then. Now, an 8 am lecture means leaving the house by 6:45, and hoping that traffic will be OK. Settling into our new campus - a 5 minute bike ride from my house - this winter will be like a wonderful dream!!
While the commute is A challenge, it is not THE challenge. That challenge is figuring out what bugs my brain so much about seeing injury, and learning how to get over it. Last week, at my first family med experience, I had the opportunity to see my doc remove a small growth. This is a minor, minor, minor procedure - yet for some reason, it made me faint. Yup, full out faint. Luckily I recognized the feelings and left the room and sat down so that I just slumped into the chair. Breaking it down: I am not 'intellectually' grossed out by what I am watching, I simply see the injury and the 'drop heart rate/blood pressure' switch in my brain is thrown. I'm hoping that with increasing knowledge I'll be able to control it. But for now, I am preparing myself with:
-Compression socks (keeps blood from pooling in my legs - more in systemic circulation)
-Candy (insta-sugar rush)
-Caffeinated drinks (Caffeine raises blood pressure)
-Multivitamins (in hopes that boosting iron will help my blood carry more oxygen)
I also bought a book on "overcoming Medical Phobias" - it has a section on how to not faint.
I can't wait for the day when I can stay conscious around surgery. I think this will probably be one of the biggest challenges I have to face during med school - the sight of injury has always bothered me, whether it is cartoon or real. It is so strange to think that the injury I'm supposed to learn (like surgery) is actually a good thing for the patient. It isn't so much the blood, which doesn't really gross me out, but the sense that it is wrong to break through our body's natural protection (skin/tissue etc).
Oh, and to make things worse: faint day was my first day shadowing this doc. What a great first impression. At least this week went way, way better. I even saw the patient again, their lesion was healing nicely and did not bother me at all (seems to not be bothering them either,which is more important!).
In other news: we have finished studying the lungs!! We're on to the heart! And next week we get our white coats, apparently so we can feel good about ourselves (full of ourselves?) and spread tons of germs to our patients (they're not the cleanest of things...).
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4 comments:
You know Jen, I have heard tons of stories about doctors, nurses, even vets losing consciousness while starting off as a student - and its not that blood and guts bother them - it has more to do with the whole situation - because its not in the everyday world that the average person walks around seeing peoples injuries, wounds, and the like.
Even doctors that get to residency and are now the person truly responsible for cutting open a patient sometimes are frozen before cutting them open - however, everyone has said, once they make that first incision - things start moving much more smoothly - that it was a mind over matter situation.
I have no doubt that you'll be fine - and as you said - you cutting the patient open is more likely for their benefit and not doing so... possibly harming them.
Not that you asked for advice - but the elastic band on the wrist might be just enough of a distraction for your system. In compromising situations, snap the elastic hard enough to hurt. It's a technique used in anger management and it must might work here.
BTW, I'm still enjoying my freshly ground coffee in the mornings. Thanks.
M's ma
Maybe Dr. McSteamy will be there to catch you! If he does, give him my number!!
It sounds like you are taking all the right steps, and you're being very rational and proactive. How very doctorly of you!! The fact that you are examining yourself and thinking about the root of it is proof enough that you'll get through it. And then you'll wind up being the best, most level-headed, unfaintingest doctor around!
- M's daughter
i think you should write about your next challenge... keeping this blog updated ;)
What the hell ... it's like you're busy with first year med and planning a wedding or something - geesh.
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